How to handle every co-worker at your holiday party

Preston Banks has attended his share of doozy — and boozy — holiday office functions. “Parties were always out of hand,” recalls the financial services executive. “Who could come back [to the office] with the best story?” In particular Banks, who asked not to use his real name, recalls a bash at the Sheraton in Midtown, where he and his colleagues witnessed their co-worker, a married woman, publicly groping a colleague, a single man.
Banks’ company isn’t alone. According to executive search firm Battalia Winston, 88 percent of employers plan to hold a company party this year, 73 percent of which will serve alcohol.
Still, you need to proceed with caution. “That does not give you license to overimbibe,” says Thomas P. Farley of the consulting company What Manners Most. “Not if you care about your reputation and career prospects.”
So in the spirit of the season, @work caught up with local employees to hear how to handle every type of co-worker you might encounter this holiday season.

The married canoodler

If a married colleague is hitting on you, stick with a buddy — and, if you do get cornered, remind your inebriated co-worker that he or she is married.Photo: Alamy

“Innocent flirting got a little carried away,” says Banks of the aforementioned Sheraton incident. His employer comped rooms for out-of-town employees to avoid drinking and driving. After the open bar and buffet bash, 20 colleagues convened in one room to hang out. A call center manager sat next to his female co-worker, his so-called “work wife” — who was married. “She’s rubbing him under his shirt and going down the back of his pants!” recalls Banks. Unbeknownst to the couple, however, they sat in front of mirrored closet doors. “Really?” adds an astonished Banks. “In front of everybody and the mirror behind you? You look back and you just say, ‘It’s New York.’ ”
The solution: Innocent flirting or not, TheLadders.com job search expert Amanda Augustine recommends — surprise — avoiding the married person hitting on you like the plague. Instead, stick with a buddy and, if you do get cornered, “Remind your inebriated colleague that he or she’s married, especially if he or she’s not picking up on subtler hints.”

The gossiper

What happens at the holiday party does not stay at the holiday party.Photo: Alamy

And if you misbehave, you better believe there will be a gossip just waiting to talk all about it with Mary From Accounting — especially if your company, like Banks’, encourages a culture of chitchat. “People didn’t know appropriate limits. It was like, ‘Somebody’s going to go after somebody tonight.’ ” Soon after that incident, he and a close colleague dished about it in another room while simultaneously clearing out the minibar.
A few minutes later, they heard a knock on the door and a familiar voice: “Make sure you know who’s in the room next to you before you talk about them!” Busted by the male manager! Banks and his buddy were silent for three minutes before bursting into laughter. Thankfully, the party was on a Saturday night, so by Monday morning the incident had blown over — and the manager worked in another state to boot.
The solution: “What happens at the holiday party does not stay at the holiday party,” says Mister Manners (a k a Farley). No employee has an “expectation of sworn secrecy after carrying on as though he or she has shown up at a wild bachelor party.”

If your party-hardy co-worker wants to keep the festivities going, insist she get in a taxi, and pay her fare to get her home immediately — and don’t accept no for an answer.Photo: Alamy

Janine N. Truitt of the management-consulting firm Talent Think Innovations in Port Jefferson Station recalls an “unforgettable” after-party while working for a Midtown-based p.r. firm. “We basically went [to the company bash] for appearances only,” she remembers. At 8 p.m., Truitt exited the sports bar on Eighth Avenue with six colleagues to continue festivities at a nearby hotel bar.
But a drunk co-worker needed a restroom and simply couldn’t wait. Minutes away from the destination, she “pulled her thong down from an already short skirt and peed on 47th and Broadway . . . she simply pulled her thong back up and continued across the street into the lounge,” recalls Truitt, mortified. Fortunately for the peeing partier, it was “a joke among friends.”
The solution: “I’m speechless,” says Farley. Pointing out it’s “absolutely appalling, drunk or not,” the mannerly thing for her co-workers “would have been to insist she get in a taxi and paid her fare to get her home immediately, not accepting no for an answer.”

The political climber

The quality of your work on its own is almost never enough to get to the top — so it’s always worth chatting up your boss at the annual holiday party.Photo: Shutterstock.com

Ben Rosenfeld, comedian and author of “Russian Optimism,” worked as a management consultant at a Fortune 500 company several years ago — and one year, the firm rented the top floor of a fancy building and assembled open bars in each corner. But instead of mingling with the crowd, he and several friends created a drinking game to avoid climbers, of which he’s not a fan.
“Their eyes always dart around the room even as they speak,” he says. “Or they shake your hand and look past you.” Since climbers try to bring nonwork conversations back to work topics, “ruining any party,” the game kept the crew in motion.
“Order a drink at the first bar and walk toward the next bar,” he says. “Doing all four corner bars is one lap. Person to do the most laps wins.” While it was like a race, goals were tossed by the third lap. “We were all winners,” he quips. “Or losers.”
The solution: Yes, it can be frustrating watching aggressive colleagues unabashedly schmoozing with every available executive without a hint of shame. But Brendan Reid, author of “Stealing the Corner Office,” suggests ditching games like Rosenfeld’s in favor of building relationships with people above your level: “The quality of your work on its own is almost never enough to get to the top.”