Preston Banks has attended his share of doozy — and boozy — holiday office functions. “Parties were always out of hand,” recalls the financial services executive. “Who could come back [to the office] with the best story?” In particular Banks, who asked not to use his real name, recalls a bash at the Sheraton in Midtown, where he and his colleagues witnessed their co-worker, a married woman, publicly groping a colleague, a single man.
Banks’ company isn’t alone. According to executive search firm Battalia Winston, 88 percent of employers plan to hold a company party this year, 73 percent of which will serve alcohol.
Still, you need to proceed with caution. “That does not give you license to overimbibe,” says Thomas P. Farley of the consulting company What Manners Most. “Not if you care about your reputation and career prospects.”
So in the spirit of the season, @work caught up with local employees to hear how to handle every type of co-worker you might encounter this holiday season.

The married canoodler

If a married colleague is hitting on you, stick with a buddy — and, if you do get cornered, remind your inebriated co-worker that he or she is married.Photo: Alamy

“Innocent flirting got a little carried away,” says Banks of the aforementioned Sheraton incident. His employer comped rooms for out-of-town employees to avoid drinking and driving. After the open bar and buffet bash, 20 colleagues convened in one room to hang out. A call center manager sat next to his female co-worker, his so-called “work wife” — who was married. “She’s rubbing him under his shirt and going down the back of his pants!” recalls Banks. Unbeknownst to the couple, however, they sat in front of mirrored closet doors. “Really?” adds an astonished Banks. “In front of everybody and the mirror behind you? You look back and you just say, ‘It’s New York.’ ”
The solution: Innocent flirting or not, TheLadders.com job search expert Amanda Augustine recommends — surprise — avoiding the married person hitting on you like the plague. Instead, stick with a buddy and, if you do get cornered, “Remind your inebriated colleague that he or she’s married, especially if he or she’s not picking up on subtler hints.”

The gossiper

What happens at the holiday party does not stay at the holiday party.Photo: Alamy

And if you misbehave, you better believe there will be a gossip just waiting to talk all about it with Mary From Accounting — especially if your company, like Banks’, encourages a culture of chitchat. “People didn’t know appropriate limits. It was like, ‘Somebody’s going to go after somebody tonight.’ ” Soon after that incident, he and a close colleague dished about it in another room while simultaneously clearing out the minibar.
A few minutes later, they heard a knock on the door and a familiar voice: “Make sure you know who’s in the room next to you before you talk about them!” Busted by the male manager! Banks and his buddy were silent for three minutes before bursting into laughter. Thankfully, the party was on a Saturday night, so by Monday morning the incident had blown over — and the manager worked in another state to boot.
The solution: “What happens at the holiday party does not stay at the holiday party,” says Mister Manners (a k a Farley). No employee has an “expectation of sworn secrecy after carrying on as though he or she has shown up at a wild bachelor party.”

If your party-hardy co-worker wants to keep the festivities going, insist she get in a taxi, and pay her fare to get her home immediately — and don’t accept no for an answer.Photo: Alamy

Janine N. Truitt of the management-consulting firm Talent Think Innovations in Port Jefferson Station recalls an “unforgettable” after-party while working for a Midtown-based p.r. firm. “We basically went [to the company bash] for appearances only,” she remembers. At 8 p.m., Truitt exited the sports bar on Eighth Avenue with six colleagues to continue festivities at a nearby hotel bar.
But a drunk co-worker needed a restroom and simply couldn’t wait. Minutes away from the destination, she “pulled her thong down from an already short skirt and peed on 47th and Broadway . . . she simply pulled her thong back up and continued across the street into the lounge,” recalls Truitt, mortified. Fortunately for the peeing partier, it was “a joke among friends.”
The solution: “I’m speechless,” says Farley. Pointing out it’s “absolutely appalling, drunk or not,” the mannerly thing for her co-workers “would have been to insist she get in a taxi and paid her fare to get her home immediately, not accepting no for an answer.”

The political climber

The quality of your work on its own is almost never enough to get to the top — so it’s always worth chatting up your boss at the annual holiday party.Photo: Shutterstock.com

Ben Rosenfeld, comedian and author of “Russian Optimism,” worked as a management consultant at a Fortune 500 company several years ago — and one year, the firm rented the top floor of a fancy building and assembled open bars in each corner. But instead of mingling with the crowd, he and several friends created a drinking game to avoid climbers, of which he’s not a fan.
“Their eyes always dart around the room even as they speak,” he says. “Or they shake your hand and look past you.” Since climbers try to bring nonwork conversations back to work topics, “ruining any party,” the game kept the crew in motion.
“Order a drink at the first bar and walk toward the next bar,” he says. “Doing all four corner bars is one lap. Person to do the most laps wins.” While it was like a race, goals were tossed by the third lap. “We were all winners,” he quips. “Or losers.”
The solution: Yes, it can be frustrating watching aggressive colleagues unabashedly schmoozing with every available executive without a hint of shame. But Brendan Reid, author of “Stealing the Corner Office,” suggests ditching games like Rosenfeld’s in favor of building relationships with people above your level: “The quality of your work on its own is almost never enough to get to the top.”

I have a mentor at work who is very negative about the company — she kind of brings me down, and I don’t know how to get out of the relationship. Any advice?

Breaking up is harder to do at work than in our personal lives, and it isn’t as easy to move on since you may have to continue seeing each other — and fear that the split might have career implications. But it doesn’t have to be that way: You can try adopting a reverse mentoring approach, and address the issue to help your mentor become more self-aware about how they are presenting themselves — and how it isn’t constructive or helpful for their own career and anyone they manage (or mentor!). If that doesn’t work, or if you are uncomfortable with that approach, your other alternative is to make less time for your mentor, and don’t initiate any additional meetings. Soon enough, the relationship will fizzle out, just like with personal relationships — hopefully without the drama and heartbreak! Good luck.
I have an employee who does good work, but can dial up the stress factor when things are a little intense. If I wanted to fire her, is that a legitimate reason?
Emotions are contagious, and can dictate the culture of a department. Negative attitudes can only hurt productivity and culture; they can’t help. That said, you don’t need to have a staff of smiling Pollyannas — nor would you want one, for that matter, because anyone who is too happy all the time will get on your nerves just as much! A healthy balance of New York cynicism and a can-do, make-it-happen attitude works really well. So if you feel someone’s demeanor is hurting the business or culture more than their work output is adding value, it is a valid reason to address the issue — and if the person can’t or won’t change, it’s a valid reason for you to make a change.

According to the Cruise Lines International Association, Americans make up just over 51 percent of all cruise passengers worldwide.
The percentages on specific cruises obviously vary depending on the port of departure.
Americans become the minority on ships that sail from non-U.S. ports.

But sail out of Galveston, Texas, and you had better learn to say “y’all” and eat nachos with your afternoon tea.
Whatever the percentage is, Americans tend to stand out both on the ship and in ports of call.
Here are the 10 ways to spot an American cruiser.

They pay for expensive tours.

Leave it to American tourists to shell out extra cash for expensive “beach” tours.Photo: Shutterstock

Americans seem to think that a paid tour is a better way to see almost anything. They will shell out money at a gaudy “Beach Break” kiosk on the dock even if it is only 50 feet to an actual beach.

They brag about how many cruises they have taken.

“Honey, I think this is the best cruise we’ve taken yet!”Photo: Shutterstock

On some ships, they even wear lapel pins proclaiming their frequent cruiser status. It’s just another form of vacation, people. It would be funny to see airline passengers adopt that attitude. Oh wait — those are the people in the “A” boarding group.

They think Anglo = American.

Blond hair? Check. Blue eyes? Check. Yup, they must speak English.Photo: Shutterstock

Anyone with fair skin and light hair should be speaking English, right? Funny how Americans switch to slow, loud speaking in the absence of an Anglo appearance. Even more amusing is their use of foreign languages in the wrong setting.
Do you really think that the Italian shopkeeper will understand the Spanish you learned in high school?

They buy watches and junk jewelry everywhere.

Puka-shell necklaces are another hot commodity among American cruisers.Photo: Shutterstock

Only an American would jump at the chance to buy watches made in China while sailing on a ship in the Bahamas. Or how about those beautiful puka-shell necklaces on the beach in St. Thomas? It never occurs to them to ask where they came from.

They wear pashminas they bought on the ship

Which pashmina matches my new cruise tote?Photo: Shutterstock

But they come in so many colors! Of course, none of those colors matches the tote bags the cruise lines give out to their “best” passengers. Yet the combination of the tote-bag status symbol and the fuchsia pashmina is impossible to pass up for some American women.
At least the gaudiness goes well with hubby’s Hawaiian shirt, bought in Jamaica.

They ask for extra cheese on everything.

So much cheese. So much deliciousness.Photo: Courtesy of Nemo's Great Uncle/Flickr

It is quite possible that cheese is the new chocolate for Americans. Cruise lines should consider replacing their chocolate buffets with huge carvings made of cheese. The line to get in would encircle the ship at any hour.

They think having a beer at Señor Frogs is hanging with the locals.

Just because you have a drink at Señor Frogs does not make you a local.Photo: Courtesy of Chad Henderson/Flickr

You see the barflies in every port. They are never the first ones off the ship. They lag until a respectable hour of noonish, then while away the afternoon in a famous-name joint within stumbling distance of the ship.
Back on board (assuming they make it) they brag about how many locals they drank under the table. Does it never occur to them that the only people they drank under the table were the passengers from the ship at the next dock?

They never stop at just one beer, anywhere.

Because five beers is always better than one.Photo: Courtesy of The.Rohlt/Flickr

There is a reason that cruise lines sell beer by the bucket — 51 percent of their passengers are American. On the other hand, maybe they have discovered that the empty bucket makes a handy puke pail, making it a little easier to keep the pool deck clean.

They will do and say anything under the influence of alcohol.

Once the alcohol starts flowing on a cruise, all bets are off.Photo: Shutterstock

The cruise lines count on drunk Americans to provide free entertainment for the rest of the passengers. It’s how they get the funniest material for couple’s game shows and late-night team scavenger hunts, like Royal Caribbean’s The Quest.

They outweigh the foreigners.

Time to let it all hang out at the pool.Photo: Shutterstock

Cheese chomping and beer swilling can only lead to one thing: tour-bus butt. Unfortunately, it all hangs out at the pool. Where’s that pashmina when you really need it?

Attention, felinephiles! Your dream of total kitty immersion has come true. On Monday, Dec. 15, Meow Parlour (46 Hester St.), the city’s first-ever permanent cat cafe — where customers pay $4 for a 30-minute feline fix — will open its doors.
The brainchild of Macaron Parlour owner Christina Ha and partner Emilie Legrand, the cafe features two storefronts: one for purchasing coffee and treats, and another to meet-cute with the animals, who are all up for adoption through KittyKind.
Sound like a purr-fect way to spend an afternoon? Meet Meow Parlour’s current residents.

Squinkles

Photo: Ethan Covey

“She is the ham!” says Ha of Squinkles, who is 1 year and 4 months old. “She loves people but doesn’t like to be held. Instead, she likes to be in the middle of all the action and in front of the camera.” Ideally, Meow Parlour and KittyKind would love for Squinkles to be adopted with sister Spot.

Kris

Liza and Julian play at Meow ParlourPhoto: Ethan Covey

This 7-month-old male, a domestic short hair with ginger coloring, loves to play with other kitties, especially his sister Liza. “We are hoping that he will be adopted with another cat or by a home that has cats already,” says Ha of Kris’ social nature.

Julian

Photo: Ethan Covey

Nicknamed “the Heartthrob” by those who have already met him, Julian is a cuddly 9-month-old domestic short hair with white and tabby coloring. “He is a really adorable cat, very calm and friendly,” says Legrand, who recommends Julian go to a home with another feline.

Lucky Lemon

Julian has fun on the playset at Meow Parlour.Photo: Ethan Covey

Named for his light orange fur, this 1-year-old domestic short hair can be shy around people but likes to play with other cats. “He seems to be coming into his own,” says Ha. Is this late bloomer the next four-legged member of your family?

Spot

Kitties Liza and Julian play at the Meow Parlour.Photo: Ethan Covey

This 16-month-old domestic short hair has half tabby, half white coloring. “She’s super sweet, very playful, always interactive and curious about what’s going on,” says Legrand, who notes that the kitty interacts well with children, adults and other cats.

Liza

Photo: Ethan Covey

If this tabby has you seeing double, it’s because she is Kris’ sibling. The sweet, 7-month-old female domestic short hair with all-over tabby coloring loves to be held. “She’s basically a ‘lap cat,’ ” says Legrand, “and she’ll just sit and snuggle with you all day.”

New York’s brasserie king isn’t stopping until he has an eatery on every corner.
Simon Oren, the man behind Nice Matin, French Roast, Marseille, Pigalle, Le Monde, Café d’Alsace and countless other restaurants, is opening a new 5 Napkin Burger on the Upper East Side.
At the same time, he’s launching a new Mexican concept eatery — a departure from his mostly French-themed fare — on the Upper West Side, Side Dish has learned. The restaurant, at 320 Amsterdam Avenue, will take over the current home of Citrus Bar & Grill Restaurant.
Oren would not comment on the timing, although sources said the project is “far along” in the development stage.

Photo: Tamara Beckwith

The new 5 Napkin Burger, at 1325 Second Ave, will encompass 3,000 square feet and seat 100 when it opens in April. Oren and his partner in the Tour de France restaurant group, chef Andy D’Amico, have revamped the 5 Napkin Burger menu to provide healthier options like a Portabello mushroom burger for the vegetarian crowd. The 5 Napkin burger started out as an item on Nice Matin’s menu before Oren devoted a restaurant to it.

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Cooper’s Craft & Kitchen in the East Village is expanding west to Chelsea, Side Dish has learned.
The new 2,200 square-foot outpost will open at 169 8th Ave. with enough seating for 100. A pioneer of the craft beer movement, the gastropub is owned and run by Thomas O’Byrne, Colin Stewart and David Clarke.
Executive chef Brendan Neville, formerly of Cafe Luxembourg and the Smith, has created a menu with updated pub classics, including beer-battered fish tacos, handmade pretzels with beer-infused cheese dip and Canadian-classic poutine — fries smothered in gravy sauce and cheese.

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Harbs, a Japanese cake and sandwich shop, has opened in Chelsea at 198
9th Avenue.The 60 seat eatery is the first foreign outpost for Harbs, which has
30 locations in Japan since the first opened in 1981.
Offerings include a white chocolate cake with rum-splashed almond sponge cake and fresh whipped cream, and banana cream pie, along with more traditional Japanese sweets, like a waguri
tarte — with dainagon red beans mixed in fresh whipped cream covered by a Japanese chestnut paste and their signature green tea mousse sponge cake.
Harbs also offers ten of their original teas blended and packaged in Japan, while their coffee — individually brewed cups — is from their four original blends that are roasted in Seattle.
The look is European coffee house but the feel is Japanese — even the
display cases, coffee machines and ovens are imported from Japan.

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We hear… that Burke & Wills, an Australian bistro named after that country’s 19th-century adventurers, has launched a weekend brunch. The restaurant, at 226 W. 79th St., has an upstairs cocktail lounge, the Manhattan Cricket Club. It has launched a $45 per-person weekend high tea.
Harbs, a Japanese cake and sandwich shop, has opened in Chelsea at 198 9th Avenue.
The 60 seat eatery is the first foreign outpost for Harbs, which has 30 locations in Japan, since opening in 1981.
Offerings include a white chocolate cake with rum-splashed almond sponge cake and fresh whipped cream, and banana cream pie, along with more traditional Japanese sweets, like a waguri tarte — with dainagon red beans mixed in fresh whipped cream covered by a Japanese chestnut paste and their signature green tea mousse sponge cake.
Harbs also offers ten of their original teas blended and packaged in Japan, while their coffee — individually brewed cups — is from their four original blends that are roasted in Seattle.
The look is European coffee house but the feel is Japanese — even the display cases, coffee machines and ovens are imported from Japan.

NYC’s sweetest purveyors have dreamed up a host of whimsical confections to dazzle your holiday table.

Sweet structures

 

Modal Trigger

Yule want to dig into Lafayette’s banana cream souches de Noël.Photo: Noah Fecks

Jennifer Yee, 36, the pastry chef at Andrew Carmellini’s NoHo French cafe Lafayette, has a degree in interior architecture, and she constructs beautiful desserts that are both classic and creative, like a banana cream souches de Noël festooned with cartoonish meringue toadstool mushrooms.
While banana might not be your typical festive flavor, Yee, who was recently named one of Food & Wine’s “Best New Pastry Chefs” and was on the long list for a James Beard Award nomination this year, says it’s a perfect fit for the holidays.
“It’s a good foil for rich chocolatey items and a family favorite,” she says.
For those looking for something more traditional, she’s got plenty of that on offer too.

Anyone who says this season isn’t a competition doesn’t have three Jewish kids under 5 who live in a predominantly non-Jewish area and yearn for a visit from Santa.

So, here are some awesome ways to make Hanukkah just as fun as Christmas. Here’s one reason for every night of Hanukkah that we’re contenders for the people with the most fun winter holiday.
1. Eight presents. My kids still believe that the kids who celebrate Christmas only get one each. Next year is kindergarten, when I will no longer be able to maintain this farce, but watch me lie with abandon now.
2. Latkes. When else do you let your kids eat basically grease with applesauce for dinner? Oh, right, anytime you get a kids meal, anywhere. But not at home!
3. Dreidls. Gambling, condoned. And you can gamble with chocolate gelt! That brings me to….
4. Chocolate gelt. Come on, what kid doesn’t like chocolate? (Well, except for my weird 3 year old?)
5. Real fire. Santa may bring presents through a darkened chimney, but a tipped over menorah can LIGHT YOUR WHOLE HOUSE ON FIRE! Kids seem to have a death wish, so maybe this is appealing.
6. Judah Maccabee. This is a pretty cool story, right? Judah is a lot hotter than Santa, let me tell you that.
7. Sufgayinot. A.k.a: jelly doughnuts! When do you let your kids eat doughnuts for dinner? Never, actually, not even on Chanukah. But they are a good dessert, after the latkes.
8. Family togetherness. It’s like a Norman Rockwell painting, except everyone has curly hair. You got the family closeness down, whether it’s a menorah in the background or a wonderful, magical Christmas tree that fascinates your children and … I mean, a Christmas tree.
Happy Hanukkah and enjoy that good Chinese food on Christmas Day.

DEAR ABBY: What are the signs of prescription-drug abuse? How would you suggest a young person like me (I am 13) confront a close family member about something like this, especially since I'm not sure?
I found an antidepressant prescribed for my mother. As long as I can remember, she has been a happy and upbeat person, and I have no reason to suspect she's depressed. I'm worried she may be abusing the medication.

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